Depression

Staring into the maw of the beast
Brain feels black and blue
Battered by misery
The sorrowful ghosts of mental anguish
Visit my soul and creep
Up and up and through and through
Into my mind
I mind
I don't like this wrenching
Happiness sublimated by woe betide me
Oh black inky depths swarming
Encircling my light
Leaving me bereft of reason
A twitching aching sobbing man
Eyes narrow
Looking into the vast eternity
Where my fate lies
As I wander through the valley
Of my dying days
No fight in me
Despair wins this round

Subway Wait

I hate to say: fuck you to the subway train
But I must
Eight minutes until you arrive
I have to stand on this urine soaked platform among grumpy commuters
Waiting
My back hurts
My feet ache
Some of the people around me are strange
I hear the same monotonous announcements
Over and over
Waiting is such torturous ennui
It's a spiritless void of ugly
It is time draining away from my day
From my life
Still two more minutes
Two more minutes of trying not to inhale through my nose
And smell that goddamned urine
Ahh the train at last and still I say: fuck you for the wait

Off to Work

Subway zips zooms zaps underground
I sit with book read read read
Subway announcements interrupt annoy bother
I sit with book read read read
Subway stops people off people on
I sit with book read read read
Subway gets to my destination I shuffle off
Up the escalator I go go go
Walk walk walk to trolley
Wait wait wait for trolley
Ride ride ride on trolley
While again I sit with book and read read read
End of line I'm off again to
Walk walk walk to work
But first stop for coffee
Need the caffeine fix to be
On
Up the stairs at work I go go go
Work time
Sublime

Perchance to Dream

I want to sleep to be in my dreams
Where I can swim across oceans
And fly across continents
In my dreams I can see my father
My best friend
My big brother
All of whom are dead
But alive in my dreams
I can be famous in my dreams -- if I want
I can have lovers galore
Guilt free
I can dance on clouds with angels
In my dreams I battle Satan and win
In my dreams I visit old haunts and am young again
In my dreams the future shines brightly
Even though it rains
In my dreams I have amazing adventures
And in my dreams if there is trouble
If there is fear or pain or discomfort
All I have to do is wake up
Then I can go back to sleep and
Dream again

You Missed Out

You tell me about your weekend
But don't ask about mine
You tell me about your vacation
But don't ask about mine
You tell me about holiday
But don't ask about mine
You tell me about your family
But don't ask about mine
You're not only rude but missing out
I have stories to tell
Adventures to relate
Experiences to share
I saw amazing sights
And did astounding things
Great feats and accomplishments
Are mine to boast of
Celebrities were met
Achievements were achieved
Skills were perfected
Wrongs were righted
Injustices exposed
Mistakes corrected
Derring do and thrills
Great excitement and chills
I traveled far and wide
And so much some never before seen
You missed out
Cause you told me about Cousin Leonard's hernia operation
And about your trip to the mall
And about your foot fungus
And about the crock pot you received
And about the TV show you watched
Ho hum
You missed out

Just Asking

What if there are puppies in hell
And snakes in heaven?
What if hell gives you answers
And heaven asks you questions?
What if reason is irrational
And madness is sane?
What if good is wrong
And bad is right?
What if I am you
And you are me?
But what if up is up
And down is down?
But what is that is there
And this is here?
And peace is violent
And war serene?
I do not know any answers
But am brave enough to ask the questions
Or am I?

Out For a Walk

I walk down crusty streets alone
Looking for shadows in the shade
My mind frying the possibilities
Of another grateful day
I try to make sense of what I think
I try to sort through the purple
And only fall into a rainbow
Children chirping on bikes pass
Where are the cherries pie of my own youth?
A stranger smiles
The feet ache
The somber latitude of gratitude
Of hearing you running past me in the hallways
And I'm in high school again
Wondering at the majesty of the brain
And still I walk today
Always in this moment
Because it is mine

In the News

Trouble between Russia and the Ukraine
All this strife can drive you insane
Still haven't found that missing plane
All this trouble gets to your brain
Conservatives still trying to screw the poor
What do they need even more money for
Corporations and the rich keep getting more
And yet for lower taxes they do implore
Still more shootings everyday
The NRA keeps getting its way
The gun lobby is all powerful and does hold sway
There has got to be a better way
The change in climate is quite severe
So bad it seems the end times are near
Some fight against full rights for gays
Their minds me thinks in a bigoted haze
At least technology still does advance
Perhaps this world still has a chance
Now if our minds and hearts could grow
There's no limit to how far we'd go

My Life For What its Worth

I wandered through the valleys of my mind
And ended up at the brink of this
Another outsized day of wonder
And gasping at all sensations derived from thought.
So I sit overwhelmed by it all and nod contentedly
What else am I to do on the mad road to illusions
I am nothing if not overly dramatic
I eschew the term drama queen
Because it suggests my histrionics are done
While attired in dress pumps and wig
Simply not my thing
My wife is indulgent having known me a
And my peccadilloes for several decades now
She is more than I deserve I know
So here I am humble at last

What I Am

I am a decaying old man
I am not the middle aged father/poet of my fantasies
I never was
I was a school teacher
I still am
I am healthy
Not wealthy
Maybe wise
My body is fine
My mind is fine
My soul is fine
But they are each nearer
The end
Than the beginning
Much
So I go
Towards the end
Still wistfully enjoying the ride
Though I may still wish
That I was
The middle aged father/poet of my fantasies

I Wish

I want it to be
Dusk on a cold
November Wednesday
Of a foggy day
And I'm alone in my
Dimly lit apartment
Groggy from a nap
TV flickering sound off
A hardcover book of poems on my lap
A quilt at my side
The cold seeping in
Through a kitchen window
Waiting for my wife
And a warm dinner
And soft talk
And the comforter
And love making
And a deep sleep

Country Rag

Lederhosen Germany
Sauna Finland
Sushi Japan
Curry India
Shakespeare England
Carnival Brazil
Moose Canada
Baguette France
Tea China
Andes Chile
Cossack Russia
Da Vinci Italy
Cigar Cuba
Kangaroo Australia
Sphinx Egypt
Aristotle Greece
Windmill Holland
Kilimanjaro Tanzania
Kilts Scotland
Aztec Mexico
Fjord Norway

Ducks on the Bay Raise Questions

There are ducks sitting on the bay
So many questions
Aren't they cold?
Are they happy?
Sad?
Have they ever, even once, even just one of them
Heard 'Combination of the Two'
by Big Brother and the Holding Company
Featuring Janis Joplin
What do they hear?
Do they just eat
And poop
And sense danger
And fly?
Flying would be good
I envy the duck's their flight
Why do they hang out together?
Safety in numbers?
Or are they friends and family?
One duck is a few feet from the main cluster
A loner?
Ostracized?
Maybe a scout or a leader
Anyway....I like ducks
Of that there is no question

What I'd Like

I'd like to be a poet laureate
I'd be really good at it I bet
I'd read my poems at events and stuff
I wouldn't be rich but I'd have enough
I'd meet the president and say hello
I'd get paid a lot and have plenty of dough
My dreams will have all come true
And I'd never again feel blue
I'd like to be a poet laureate
When it happens my life will be set

We are the Incandescent Rays of Hope and Glee

Radio avocado nights of glistening pillows
The dance of pencils reckoning our future
Morbid leanings presupposing inherit peaches
The weathered look of an existential torpedo
We are all thus wondering with effervescent minds
Creating imaginings and imagining creations
Long afternoons of pleasant meanderings
Trees and glades and the sharp smell of flowers
Blossoming excitement as we explore endless spaces
Happy and strong and healthy and wise
We are eternal despite our passing
We are everywhere despite our limitations
Look at us from above so small
Look at us from below so large
Look at us from everywhere at once so wild
We are the incandescent rays of hope and glee
The bouncing dashes of everyday and the promise
Of all your tomorrows
Without end