Friday, December 6, 2013

Richard at 22

I am the great beauty mired in my own vomit and piss
I am the handsome blonde boy limp and alone with a blistering headache
I am the charming young lad with the oppressive hangover
I am the precocious fellow grasping and gasping for more
I  am the more I seek in the world
I am the pain
I am the hunger of compassion and love
I am the one desperate for understanding and respect
I am the desire of all my wants
I am the futility of my wandering dreams
I am the liar obsessed with my own half truths
I am the living walking talking fantasy of my being
I am lost in my yesterdays unconscious of tomorrows
I am
I am Richard and I always have been

Thursday, December 5, 2013

At the Cafe

At the cafe
Eavesdrop on overweight lesbian with health problems
Hear skinny black crack whore cackling
See a dog sniffing where another dog peed
Muscular guy covered in tattoos yawning broadly walks in
Sense a young boy’s imagination being rankled by a parent’s admonitions
Look outside see a duck fly overhead must be lost
I cater to my whims and drink a latte while pretending to read
(There’s a chance of rain)
I see a kid go long for a pass that sails over his head
I see an old lady warily crossing the street
I see an impatient driver waiting for him
I see that football land in some bushes
I see an irritated bus driver let wheelchair rider on the bus
I listen to a teenaged girl pop her gum
I listen to a middle aged man hum a Gershwin tune
I listen to a car’s CD player blasting rap music
I listen to a moment of silence between noises
I wonder at the sense of it all
I speculate as to meaning
I fantasize about bikini clad beauties cavorting on beaches
I feel a little guilt for my fantasies
I wish that 11:00 am would last longer
I wish that the clock wouldn’t take moments away so quickly
Thirtyish mother pushes toddler in stroller
Skateboarder rasps against the sidewalk oblivious to pedestrians
Jogger pants and runs runs and pants
Car blasts horn at Hispanic kid crossing against the light
Old man in yarmulke opens umbrella
Homeless couple argue -- seemingly over possession of a can
Cute college girl walks unselfconsciously down subway steps
Rain starts
I’m glad for the rain
I’m glad for the cafe
I’m glad for the caffeine
I’m glad for the book
I’m glad for the city
There is more hustle and also some bustle
The stillness of the mind contrasts with the world in motion
Perpetual life
City life
Ambitious life
Swirling twirling life
Rambling shambling life
Finish the latte life
Rise from seat life
Go out the door life
Walk in the rain life
Life on life’s term life