Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sabbatical, Computer, Olga


When I returned from sabbatical
The page on my computer was still loading
I went to a hockey game
The page loaded
Finally
It was not worth reading
I clicked out and the computer crashed
Everything on my hard drive
Was killed by a virus
I got a massage from a willowy Swedish woman
Named Olga
I was relaxed but still needed
A new computer
Damn it
I wanted to order one on line
But absent a working computer
I couldn’t
So I asked Olga to take me to the store
I bought a new computer
And picked up fruit at the produce store
Olga made dinner
I checked my email
It was all spam
Olga rebuffed my advances
Now I was tense again
Time for another sabbatical
But first I wanted to surf the web
I have an interesting life
Trade me?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Depression

Can I write about this pain
Can I possibly describe the hurt
Is there any way to accurately convey
The terrible sadness that weighs my head
Down
Down so low
It seems impossible for even me
To understand
The awful hurt
Coursing through my veins
The blackness that shrouds my life
How do I manage the simple chores
Hard enough now to inhale and exhale
If I think about it
Every breath brings more sorrow
More anguish
Yet I fill my time
With so many trivialities
Ever hopeful, perhaps
That this gloom will someday abate
That joy will extinguish
These flames of bitter unhappiness
This depression so deep so unfathomable
Can I wait for better times
When they are impossible to even imagine
I suppose I must
What else is there

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Importance of Silence

When I had nothing to say I talked a lot
Positively bursting I was silent
Funny
The way the mind doesn’t work
When you don’t need it to
Interesting
The way people are so oblivious
To who you really are
And don’t care anyway
I died the other day
And no one noticed
So here I am again
Hoping to catch your attention
This time around
There are only so many ways
I can fail to express
What I don’t think anyway
About matters of no concern
To anyone
Silly the way matters so serious
Are trivialized
While the mundane and awkward become like
Silences of long held lions roars
Out your name
And you wonder why I say nothing
About all I’ve got to say
So dream on my sweet little darlings
Of yesterdays blooming
And then end of tomorrow’s raindrops
Unless of course
It’s vitally important
You know what I mean

Monday, September 27, 2010

Reach For It

You must be prepared to reach into the void
There will be fear and hesitation
But you must do it
For out of the nothingness you can summon
What is required to truly live
A rich and meaningful
Existence
Don’t shy away for the enormity of the task
You’ll likely not fall into the abyss
Instead you will grasp that wonderful and horrible fruit
Don’t stop yet
Bite into it
No, don’t just taste, devour it
This must become part of you
Mixing with who you are to create 
Who you ever will be
The alternative is an awful thing to contemplate
Living a half life
Slavishly devoted to elaborate lies
Dedicating your time to mindless tasks
And to a vapid culture
No, no, this is not for you
You must roll up your sleeves young friend
There’s no time to be shy
The time you have is to be lived
Now go
And exceed your grasp

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Nonsense

It was too easy to write this poem
So I stopped and thought it over some
It was too hard not to write it
So I slumped in sad contemplation
Here’s what I thought:
Those broken bicycle wheels keep spinning
And the road to alien lands are winning
The pleasing tastes of our grandmothers’ pies
Are a sharp contrast to sexual lies
We needn’t bother with the gimpy legged troll
Or the long said wail of a dying foal
We can listen instead to politicians conflate
So that everything comes out as awful hate
How apt that schools teach us right from wrong
When all we really want is to move along
I cried with you when they fled last night
Because the crimson moon was an ominous sight
So always remember that when writing verse
It’s terrible to lie, nothing is worse
Honest as an ice cream truck by the side of the road
And if he won’t move along you’ve got to goad
So this is what I wrote 
This poem was too simple
Look at me now, look at my dimple
Would have made more sense
If I hadn’t thought about
Nonsense

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Sense of Knowing

I had the spirit once
That yesterday feeling that
That
That said it was all good
Or that it was all God
I forget which
But the sense was so strong
So powerful
That rights could slay the wrongs
And evil would bow before
The mightiness of justice
Oh how I thought
That believing in right
Could be enough
If you could just get everyone
Behind you
It was racing through my veins
And I had the sense of knowing
You dig
But the air was let out of my tires
By hurt and failure
And the losses that piled up
In the face of entrenched greed
How to overcome the fear that was spread
That was turned to anger
That made people bow
Before false idols
Turned inward
Doubted
Hard to push on when odds mount
But if you do, if I do
Maybe the spirit comes back
Maybe that
That yesterday feeling
That said it was all good
Or that it was all God
Whichever
Can come back
And spread again
Worth a shot

Friday, September 24, 2010

Never Give Up

Bitter disappointment
Failing to live up to 
Falling far short
Left with words
Grasping for deeds
Not knowing how to find the
Beauty of truth
The truth of beauty
Left stuck here in the
Middle of the muck
So much potential
By the wayside
Over there
Untapped, unused
Merely taken out and slightly
Abused
But not ready
-- Not yet anyway --
To give up
Walk on
Rock on
Still time
Can make something of this awful wretch
Called me
Wanting to make you happy
That is us
And me
So I push on
I’m nothing
Nothing
If not persistent
Hallelujah

Thursday, September 23, 2010

America Circa Today

Abstract vistas and people pleasers
The teases of the sullen girl
Softly caressing what once was
As clouds lifting my dreams float heavenward
But candied contours ruffle the sweet sayings
Of dashing young men who ride
And the tidal basin is lost now to
The angry torrents of yesterday’s whims
I call for the geysers so redolent of my youth
Cries come from the masses 
They see only the stricken faces of the hungry
If the shimmering mirror is there at all
We try to celebrate the hopeful schemes
But burgundy stumbling blocks leave us ever grasping
For an eternal answer we do not want
How to weep when tears are dried
But the orb’s incessant waves
And the cacophony of the angry
Drowns out the clarity of the royalty
Usurpers have stolen the pearls
And dashed them against the jagged bitterness
We wander through this fetid land
Stunned but resilient and believing
That this was not the last of today
Or the end of our tomorrows

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

No Huddling Masses Here

Hate your immigrants well
Your newcomers to America’s shores
Resent them and complain
Direct your venom and your bile
Let them be your scapegoat
Wave your fist at them
(Metaphorically)
Lessons of love are wasted on 
The tired, weak, the huddles masses
Let them yearn elsewhere
Shoot to kill those who are illegal
Your degradations embolden others
Your exploitation sends a clear message
You’ve got the whip
Don’t let them drain your precious resources
You niggardly miser of every penny
Let your hate serve you well
Let it be the force that binds you with others
Like-minded
Like hateful
Drive messages of peace and tolerance away
They are for school children after all
You dwell in the real world
Where there is no patience for the meek
Hate them well
Rail against them
It is a tradition in this land
It is your birth right
You are the nativist
The keeper of bigotry’s flame
Roll on

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

It’s No Joke

Don’t do something just stand there
Must you always be doing
Can’t you be happy being
Being busy is so pedestrian
Relaxation and soft enjoyment
Of hard times’ vacations
For there are moments in war
Of utter quiet or joy before the horror resumes
So busy yourself sometimes
With not being busy
With the comfortable seat
Seize that errant thought and work out of it
Something worth holding on to
Let go of your schedule
Or schedule your letting go
You can be just living
Without moving or fretting or worrying or caring
But daring
To sit and ponder with a smile
Bold friend risk it
The challenge is: seek no challenges
For awhile
Find comfort in the easy
Time enough to work

Monday, September 20, 2010

Silence is Golden

Prolonged silence interrupted by the noises of the night
The long perfection of quiet dies as a truck rumbles by
Insomniacs stir again when an ambulance’s siren cries
The howls of an alert and angry dog disturb the perfection of rustling branches
Soft winds are the movements of silence
A baby wails and bare feet pad on the tile
Now a meow from a tom cat forgetting his manners and place
The house creaks
The radio of a passing car is a loud offense at any time of day
Rise to stand before the toilet, the bladder leaks
Long happy quiet now
So beautiful to an ear assaulted all day
By the vulgarities of modern life
May be better to sleep during the restless shouting day
And be awake with the beauty of night’s aural vacuum

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Author’s Lament

“But the girls had moved casually on and her remark was addressed to the premature moon, produced like supper, no doubt, out of a caterer’s basket.” From F Scott Fitzgeralds’ The Great Gatsby.
I haven’t worked it out yet
Not even connived the bet
Hasn’t come to me how or when
Or if it’ll even happen again
Can’t see why it should
Not even if it ever could
Just know it needs to be soon if ever
Or it might as well be never
I’ll try to conjure it up myself you see
But that may be something that can never be
Writing words that are perfect and clear
Is a talent few have and they hold it dear
I’ve had a moment or two in my life
Some of it born of my trouble and strife
Penning things amusing and interesting is so hard
I’d love nothing more than to be an immortal bard
But so it goes and such it is
That at this task I’m really no whiz
Oh sure I can manage a couplet or two
But a whole work of fiction is a much bigger stew
Stay with me folks don’t give up too soon
I may yet contrive sentences that’ll make you swoon
I appreciate your attention a helluva lot
That’s all for now, that’s all I’ve got

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Trust Me

Watch me
The poet
Chronicler of my times
Telling of the loves and hates
Failures and success
As the wheels go round and
Into the ground
Halt
I stop for nothing
For my passion is to tell
Let you know what is and
What isn’t
Many lies distort the realities
Many deceptions coat the meanings
You’ll look and see what’s not there
I will point to what is and
Tell you why
If I can
Using words of truth
Unveiling the hidden
The authentic
Separating it from the
Misty clouds of creative fabrications
The obtuse, the unminded and
The unreal
Listen close to the sounds of
Nothing being made into something 
I the poet hear it
I tell of it and
You must unravel the mystery of the words I use
For you are not without responsibility
If it is worth it to understand 
Then
It is worth it to try
Don’t just swallow and digest
Chew my friend chew
The poet provides nourishment
So please don’t swallow whole
The fibs of prevaricators
Heed instead the poet
Me

Friday, September 17, 2010

I Can Do It All

It was truly a splendid structure, and Yossarian throbbed with a mighty sense of accomplishment each time he gazed at it and reflected that none of the work that had gone into it was his. - From Joseph Heller’s Catch 22.
I am a dancer
I fly across the sea
Wings for arms
A captivating smile lighting my way
I am a singer
Trilling tunes of love
People swooning at the sound
I am a writer
Penning the magical words
That bring a tear and a cheer
I am the athlete
Leaping, pounding, hopping bounding
Thrilling fans and foes alike
Dumbstruck
I am the dreamer
All things possible
Nothing real except perhaps
Everything!
I can do it all and you must marvel 
The moon is envious
The tides blush
Purple majesty even
Sighs
Is there no end to my accomplishments?
How many grand gifts do I possess?
Look while I shimmy
And shake
Make the mountains quake
All this from the stool of a bar
I can do it al

Thursday, September 16, 2010

La Dolce Vita

I’m a snob, an elite
I think a lot of myself
I’m cool and sophisticated
With fancy tastes
I’m the type to suffer
Fools badly
As a result I suffer
The pain of knowing so much
Being ahead of the game
Seeing the folly of others
Wised up to the ways of the world
It’s a burden, man
Cursed with knowledge
Self awareness can be a drag
Loving to be me
And hating the fool in you
Depressing at times
But baby oh baby I do persevere
I make do and make better
I dance and sing and do all those things
That make me happy and glad
Just to be
Know how to put that superiority out of my mind
For awhile anyway
Celebrate the fact that I am
Ignore the fact that you aren’t
I’m really something

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Brain Bran

Astonishing
The things you learn
When you don’t even mean to
I mean seriously
There’s ever so much going on
Just open your eyes
And you’ll see so much
Think about
Not all 
Got to pick and choose
You remember what you need to
If you want to
When you can
And that’s what you learn
If you properly digest
So keep using the brain bran 
Cleans out all the *stuff* you don’t need
Really
This is the easy part
Leave yourself open to the good stuff
The new ideas
The new ways of looking
At the old
You’ll be glad you did

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Give Peace a Chance

I’m calling for a cutback on wars
Declaring them out of fashion
Out of style
Passe
A thing of yesteryear
Time to move on from the mass killing
(It’s really not so thrilling)
Let’s try peace instead
Put away the guns and ammo
No more kaboom and wham-oh
Dropping bombs is the last resort
Of a scoundrel needing a better retort
Repeating rifles and bazookas aren’t needed
Clearly the messages of love aren’t heeded
Peace on Earth and good will to all
Seems an order that is much too tall
But it’s got to be and today’s when to start
Let’s making army battles a lost art
Swords into plowshares is what I say
Making all weapons go away
Yes I’m a crazy dreamer it’s true
But I think it’s the best dream, don’t you?

Monday, September 13, 2010

Our Hearts

Walking to the store on ebullient streams of gold
Crashing my mind over the woman so tall and lovely
Daring to think about what other’s deem passe
Pleasing no one but myself
And whoever dug the same scene
Flying to work on clouds rich with the honey
That made my life so sweet
Why ride with the loner
Or put porcelain cups of tea
Everywhere
When it was all here anyway
Just waiting for you to dance
On endless reams of love and wonder
As if the morning would bring anything but 
The purest heart and the best of the day’s
Kaleidoscopic visions of happiness
In the entrails of one sad slain beast
Who waits only for eternity 
While we kiss to the sounds of her hellos
And so I ask you once again
To take the journey of a million poems
To the center of all outer edges
And peer into the mad mad love of 
Our hearts

Sunday, September 12, 2010

It’s A

It’s a real litmus test
So get your litmus tested
It’s just fine
It’s a real stumbling block
So move the damn block
It’s a perfect storm
So it couldn’t get any better
It’s a thorn in my side
So i’ll just pull it out
It’s a win win situation
So go into overtime
It’s a no win situation
So go into overtime
It’s out of our hands
So go pick it up
It’s a fly-by-night operation
So fly at night
It’s a real lemon
So make lemonade
It’s all over but the crying
So cry
It’s in the bag
So take it out
It’s raining cats and dogs
So adopt a pet
It’s not over till it’s over
So it is

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Do the Curve and Swerve

Curves and
Swerves
Never so new as 
When the old-minded have 
Been blocking
It’s really shocking
How they try to stop
The inevitable progress
Of the open-minded
Those not blinded
By greed, hate or fear
LEt us cheer
The forward thinking types
Who
Are accepting
And expecting
To share 
Care
Dare to
Be inclusive
The dumpy down and dirty
Fear mongering
Haters
With the wrinkles and
Crinkles
And the selfish
Attitude
No latitude
No gratitude
We must silence there
Groaning, grasping whines
And lift the voices of
Groovin’
And 
Baby 
Do the curve and swerve

Friday, September 10, 2010

Let It

Alabaster
Butter
The looming grayness of the sky
The wordiness of some clerk trying
But this is not about her
Or you
The times of the lightness
Of your touch
Especially at midnight
Crying long and loud
About yesterday’s passing
And the days that hide behind trees
Somehow relegating all else
To thoughts of doves
And the careening flight of all those
Who batter away at moths of indulgence
I couldn’t possibly explain
What you have understood
Even if there’s money involved
So go forth
Hence
Privy
And let us light up the night
With our silky dreams
Of captains and rogues
And death-defying derring dos
Done over long Fridays
Of happy breezes
Let it

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Do It

Take off your clothes and dance
Do it
Do you see what’s going on in this country?
Hating immigrants
Hating Gays
Hating Muslims
Not wanting to share the wealth
Me, mine
Not we, ours
Them bad but we good
Progress is in technology
People still intolerant
Selfish, greedy
So the only solution
Is to take off your clothes and dance
Do it
You’ve got to let go and be
Don’t let them tie you up inside
Turn up the music
Turn off the inhibitions
Live, damn it, live!
You’ve got to fight oppression
And bigotry 
With the ultimate freedoms
Take of your clothes and dance
Do it
Ultimate and powerful self expressions
Of your unity love and joy
Don’t let the mean spirited
Control your mojo
1,2,3
Everybody
Take of your clothes and dance
Do it

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It Was All in the Moon

I looked at the moon 
And saw a thousand Summer nights
Of wonderful clarity
And long dreams
I looked at the moon
And saw the beauty of your face
Smiling shyly at me
(You were once shy with me)
I looked at the moon
And saw nothing
But the bleak endlessness
Of eternity
But that was okay
Existence is like that
Such richness
Coupled with the empty
But I saw more
In the moon
I must tell you
There were colors too
Shades of all variety
And there was the sharp lines
Signifying the strength
That can sometimes punctuate our lives
In the moon
If you look
You can see
Anything
Everything
Nothing
Like I did

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Gilgamesh is waiting

Gilgamesh is waiting
I’m dubious
The dry leaves perhaps portend
A savage fire
Gilgamesh yet waits
The turn of another day
(For is it not like a circle)
Portend...I don’t know what
Just another occasion to weep
And wonder at the mightiness 
Of those nights
As Gilagmesh waits
But is there still confusion
About the shooting stars
Is there still wonder
That rocks live on
And on
Or are we satisfied with something
Living with a few others
To care about
By and by
Stop this my friend
For Gilgamesh waits
Still is the night
When death calls
A low rumble in the distance
And clouds unseen
While a bird cries out
There goes the silence
Disrupting the slumber of the innocent
And awakening a heart perhaps
To the dreadful time
Of not knowing
Those fires
Wait oh Gilgamesh, wait
And we wonder not