Thursday, December 13, 2012

Moments


Dripping seconds gone forever
Time going nowhere
Empty

Thoughts
Dying 
Fading embers

The purity of those moments
When the life force
Is surging and I

Am actually doing something
There be the light
A question

How important to ask
To be able to seek
Exploration

Essence of the soul
Distilled into moments
Never lost

Always 
A gain
Of radiance

Friday, September 14, 2012

Wear it


“I am the false character that follows the name around.” - from White Noise by Don DeLillo.

Lighting and tall lean legs of light leanings and lost purposes
I carry with me the angry cacophony of the desperately lost
People who wander from thought to thought but can’t stand the notion of settling into any one of them

As if deep contemplation were a book and they favored television
I have felt their rages at all that life has denied them
So harried from place to place

So desperate for a taste of yesterday
Supposing that the leisure of the past is reality
I wonder

Who will help them grasp reality as they cling to the words of hate emanating from radios and TVs
And written across websites and repeated in bars and golf courses and hunting trips And wherever the intellectually timid gather

Cascading, tremulous voices disengaged from everywhere
All the notions taken in and spit out and the bile remains to sicken the mind
Lost children I have heard you

I shun you because I am just the saint of better tomorrows
Pray to your heavens and curse your fates
But leave me

I am going
So soft the names of angels and tired lessons
We learn from the awakenings

We who are brave thank you.

Friday, August 10, 2012

My Own Tragic Hands


My own tragic hands. 
Drunken sousaphone players. 
My death at age infinity from causes unknown. 
All the lonely nights I spent looking for the incredible whiteness of her being. 
These laments so profound that the dark night fairly ripples as I cry out for you and only you and the edge of nothingness approaches but I cry. 
Not. 
There is love and there is eternity and there is the madness of the man on the precipice. 
I tried to fake it. 
But no more the tears than the wasted years of everything I ever said or did. 
And still I dream.

There are apples that explode with the juices an mingle with the saliva and spell the word healthy. 
I munch. 
You love me. 
You who are so lost sometimes in the passing cascade. 
Come to me, my love. 
Share in the tomorrow of my yesterday. 
As I strip away the false hopes of tender hearted lies. 
We who are happy smile.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Put Off Until Tomorrow

I delay delay and again I delay
Forestall put off
A pro at procrastination
Adept at...
Never mind too much work to go on
Must set this aside for later
There is no greater cause then...
Oh bother -- another
Can't let this go on
Spun out of the way
From the fray
Cannot conceive of...
Hold on
Hang on
Just a sec
There's no rush anyway
And so I die
With much undone
What for fun?

Saturday, June 16, 2012

A Hot Day in Berkeley

A hot day in Berkeley
Is a bad day in Berkeley
City not made for heat
All the scruffy looking people
Who dwell in this city
Look all the scruffier
The streets are dirtier
And more desolate
AM radios blasting
Cars, cars, cars
Everywhere there are cars
With people in them
Being hot
And they blast more noise
More heat
Hairy men in shorts and sandals
Looking hairier then ever
Bad smells are worse
All the trash bins seem overflowing
No one is happy
People in wheelchairs whir by
Joggers sweat past you on busy sidewalks
Sweating bicyclists crowd onto sidewalks too
The assholes
No central air in the house
Just a weak little fan
Praying for the fog

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Except For The Simpsons


Soft like a dream or kisses from an angel. 
Gentle breezes and complex whispers buttoning my caresses so that I could face the day. 
Then the walk was over and I faced the snarling reality of 
What should have been home and hearth.
Only my fantasies could protect me now. 
Feed them the pulsating rock music, or tickle them with a novel. 
Or sedate them with television. 
You accursed box, dulling my mind since early childhood. 
Telling me your feeble stories, refusing to challenge me or ask me even the simplest questions. You great pacifier. 
You ugly menace to society. 
You purveyor of indelicate lies and trodden hopes. 
Death of the mind your spawn. 
I shouldn’t have had you as a lover. 
But we all risk it.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Kick It

Junky
You funky
On your back you got a monkey

Backwards
Twirling and swirling
Destination asswards

Leave it on the line
Suck on your turpentine
Methods like yours don't rhyme

Have to
Must be there
Must create your own flow

Don't
If you haven't
Likes you never will

So kick the junk
Punk
Your pattern in bunk

I say so
See me so
So do it, bro

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Who Cares?

Is anyone out there
?
And if so, where

Is anyone listening
?
Are you shiny and glistening

Does anyone care
?
Are there those of you who dare

Do these words matter
To anyone but me
Do you see

Where I can go from here
If there's no one near
No one dear

Where does
Why does
When does

Who
Oh my God
I don't

Have
Any
Idea

Worst of all I don't bloody care

Friday, March 30, 2012

no capitals


am helpless without the written word
reading, writing
watching it unfold on the screen

the screen
where my heart unfolds to rapturous strains
of

there is no little conceit wrought in words of
our own choosing
musing

the delicacy of our past perfection
those flawless memories
like cats sneaking on our bed

the rest is mere folly
so long as we subscribe to no false notions
nor pander to our own lies

about ourself

done
yesterday is here
tomorrow has been pushed back

so cry
if 
you want

Thursday, March 15, 2012

What?

What do I do with all this pain?
There's nothing and so much to write about all at once
Pain go with the writing I do and don't do

What do I do with all this love?
Never enough but always too much
Hello balance, where have you been

All my life

And there goes another sad dream
About wasted evenings
Spent looking out windows at nothing

Yesterday
Tomorrow
Just never, ever, ever today

Perish the thought and the pain is still
Here
The love too

Where does the love end
And the pain
Begin?

Where does the mystery stop
And the hysteria hop?
At night when you're alone

And why do the great surging commas of my life
Create more confusion
And banish the answers of my life to --

But that's so easy
You see
What?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Bad Bargain and Needing Rain


"Indecision and reveries are the anesthetics of constructive action." - Sylvia Plath

I ponder as I wander across the never land of the internet
Caught in the web of the world wide
Contemplating this while diverted by that and never settling down with any of it

Distract me 
Go ahead.
It's easy
I trip over my ego as I fumble away life's sweeter moments
and rage at the noise from the gardner next door
The light goes out again in my head
And I'm left in the darkness of my daily tasks
Perplexed by everyone being obvlivious of my cries for help

Deaf and dumb to the reality of....

And not ever
Not at any point -- letting go 
Because it is all too much to lose for someone who can't abide fortune's smile

I laugh too loud
Copious
Moments drift away and catch instead the hours and long days
of Earth's descent into whatever lies beneath
Finding cliches and ripping the headlines from them
Dastardly
Bastardly

I am what I said
I am what I thought
I am what I always meant myself to be
And there is little this tragedy will have to say about it in the end

Confused? Not much
Determined? 
Sometimes
But other times lounging about waiting for tomorrow 
to become yesterday and the next month to come

Where do the words come from and why do they plague me? 
Flying out of me like so much sunlight 
and drying the morning dew while I sip tea
Me

Some words drop off never bargained for 
never borrowed never needed never mine never caressed 
and loved like that beautiful woman who is my wife

She is there now
Happiness is this very thought

We illuminate our lives with the triumphs and tragedies of others
For them we are lucky
For ourselves we are nothing 
but that which we were given by loving arms and dancing feet and a heart
Heart

Start,

So it goes and so it shall always
Provided we keep alive the quest for fulfillment and are driven by 
softer, gentler natures and not the bitter weeds of hate's conquests

We must go on

Leaves rustle
Or so --

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Understated

I'm forever different and always the same
Trying to give names to emotions
That defy description
Leaning on my mind
Ignoring the truths
So supple
But understated
What is this mood I create
In fits of melancholia
And why do I buy into
Rationales
And excuses
So long in coming
So very easy in the departing
All the long ways past midnight
And beyond

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

No, Seriously

Die
Let me die now
Kill me
Kill me good and and dead
I did nothing to
Deserve this life
Take it
Take it from me now
I know this is not original
But it is no less true for it's
Awful predictability
For that's what this life
is
Never again
No chance
Thank you
(Deep bow)

Monday, February 6, 2012

Lend an Ear

I'm hardly worth talking to anymore
I've become such a dreadful bore
Prattling on about this or that

But say, you'll listen, won't you?
You seem a likely sort
Someone with an ear to bend

You'll hear my story
Feel my pain
Share your thoughts

Say you will
Say it
Say it, please

I know I sound desperate
But desperate times and all
You know how it goes

I'll do the same for you sometime
I swear I will
Count on it

Be a pal
A mate
A friend

Hear me out
This tale of woe and no
This sad saga of a man with troubles

I've just got to tell someone
Or I'll just burst
Will you, won't you?

No?
No!
Woe. Oh such woe

So hear I sit
There I stand
Everywhere I wander

No one to call friend
No way this heart to mend
The end

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Kissed Wishes

And I take these moments and fashion a dream
So loud and cool it seems I might burst 
But then what would be the point
As the sentences dwindle


So I wake up again and try another day
Contemplating all the ways I will do it better
This time
And I soar


Only to fall to love's eternal pursuit
And the discovery that it all ends
Until it begins again
On the nevermore of the lost


Kissed wishes and ponderous moments
Are not so different
Not when questions abound
And your love is always there


Cheers 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

For Clarity's Sake

Raining pieces of yesterday
A colored jamboree
Of mistakes I never made

The rare ones float away
To the endless places
Of my minds wanderings

I dare not ask
If these are your tortured
Memories

But then the play
Is off in another
Realm of what (I don't know)

So let it rain
Let it pour
Nevermore