Bad Bargain and Needing Rain

"Indecision and reveries are the anesthetics of constructive action." - Sylvia Plath

I ponder as I wander across the never land of the internet

Caught in the web of the world wide

Contemplating this while diverted by that and never settling down with any of it

Distract me 

Go ahead.

It's easy

I trip over my ego as I fumble away life's sweeter moments

and rage at the noise from the gardner next door

The light goes out again in my head

And I'm left in the darkness of my daily tasks

Perplexed by everyone being obvlivious of my cries for help

Deaf and dumb to the reality of....

And not ever

Not at any point -- letting go 

Because it is all too much to lose for someone who can't abide fortune's smile

I laugh too loud

Copious

Moments drift away and catch instead the hours and long days

of Earth's descent into whatever lies beneath

Finding cliches and ripping the headlines from them

Dastardly

Bastardly

I am what I said

I am what I thought

I am what I always meant myself to be

And there is little this tragedy will have to say about it in the end

Confused? Not much

Determined? 

Sometimes

But other times lounging about waiting for tomorrow 

to become yesterday and the next month to come

Where do the words come from and why do they plague me? 

Flying out of me like so much sunlight 

and drying the morning dew while I sip tea

Me

Some words drop off never bargained for 

never borrowed never needed never mine never caressed 

and loved like that beautiful woman who is my wife

She is there now

Happiness is this very thought

We illuminate our lives with the triumphs and tragedies of others

For them we are lucky

For ourselves we are nothing 

but that which we were given by loving arms and dancing feet and a heart

Heart

Start,

So it goes and so it shall always

Provided we keep alive the quest for fulfillment and are driven by 

softer, gentler natures and not the bitter weeds of hate's conquests

We must go on

Leaves rustle

Or so --