Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Digression Session

Spontaneous prose is what Kerouac called it
by whom I mean Jack the writer and the scribe
and the prose master and the poet and the novelist
and say can you see by the fawn’s bushy tail
what so proudly it hailed when the temperature dropped
Cropped the picture to leave out Steve out and
weave out of the way of the burning and boiling
and upsettingly roiling and say did I ever tell you
about the time that Finnegan’s Wake woke
and we spoke and spokes of the wheel, the wheel of cheese

So I got out of bed and it was pretty clear that
the black dog of depression was all over the frontal lobe
and the back lobe and the middle lobes
and I was saddity sad sad sad
Dad bad
Not glad
I could feel the depression swirling around
Plus I still itched
The damn rash from the damn meds
it's supposed to be damn fading
but damn if it ain’t still bugging me
and should I call the doctor?
I ate breakfast though it was a struggle to get that much out of me
But I did it
And I sighed and nearly cried for the longest time
but managed to walk to the gym and on my way
called the doctor’s office
and all the time I’m thinking there’s no point to my life
I’m worthless and meaningless and only for the family
do I not just end it all so I keep going
and get to the gym and run eight miles on the treadmill
and after a shower I walked home feeling like aces


Been feeling fine turpentine all the rest of the day
How long will this last well I’m


taking any bets — least of all making any
Bets, gamble shamble ramble
A rambler
Pink Rambler that’s what the wife was driving on our first date
Yup a Pink motherfucking Rambler
How bout that, kitty cat
She had a pathetic white cat back then been declawed
Useless as yesterday's pus
Shortly after we moved in together
we got an abandoned formerly abused cat
Big black monster that had been living in the building
where wife worked
We called it Stretch because it was so long
and would stretch out so
and in honor of Willie McCovey
That cat didn’t like anyone touching it except me
I could pick Stretch up and hold him for a little while
Anyone else would get bit


When oldest daughter was a wee one
Stretch would sit around with us
and sometimes daughter would go over
and bang on the cat and he took it
evidently understanding about small children
Amazing animal

Did I just digress?

Did I ever....................

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