Sunday, January 18, 2015

Bartering With Angels

And the blood of love welled up in my heart with a slow pain. - Sylvia Path

Do you move between different worlds in your daily life? The interview asked Ingmar Bergman. His answer meandered a bit but you could tell the short version of it was: yes.

I live in the present
And the past
I live in my dreams
I live in my silence and the loud crash of the world bearing in on me
I live in conflict and serenity
I live with you and I live alone
I live
Yet my dying never stops
Nor does wrenching pain of reality and the inevitability of endings
The mad wonder of revelations and surprises and miracles

(I am constantly confused by the contented soul
Who accepts everything and challenges nothing and
Never stops to ask anything of life
Let alone to demand
Their metaphorical bellies protrude
As they bask in the warm glow of their televisions
And stare steely eyed at flickering images
And listen unquestioningly to repeated slogans
How resolute in their own ignorance)

Dancing with poets is the life for me
The deadly frightening awe inspiring gripping insanity
Of pure elation mixed with searing psychological torment
Tip toeing on knife edges
Bartering with angels
Careening over the abyss and rising above the clouds
Never caring which

I don’t remember yesterday as well as I do 200 years ago
I can better plan my afterlife than tomorrow
I suck on the marrow of metaphor
As I defy this very moment and live in between other times

Crowns of glory I wear
While wallowing in self pity and melancholia
And spitting at the celestial messengers
You and I are the same
We are part of the stars
And they are part of us
And the universe lives within our blood flow
And we are god

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