I feel a hellish pain tonight
Reminded as I am of waking up
Those warm Summer mornings of my youth
Eager to start a new day
Certain that it would be full and rich and meaningful
Perhaps with sport or sex or just being young
Now it is the night of my life
Dark and cold and bitter
I cringe at the lamplight
It reflects of an old and wrinkled face
Whose time has passed
Gone is the carefree reverie of yesterday
Here instead is the melancholy of memory
The bitterness of what was missed
The longing for what was had
I do not spring out of bed these Summer mornings
I lurch and groan and ache and wonder
Where did it all go?
Can’t I have it back?
The agony of remembering
The regret the heartache the excitement the elation
All intertwined and all in a knot
In my belly
How I wish....