Relieved and Heartbroken

How often have I been
Relieved and heartbroken
At the same time
The relief of it being over
the loss of the tension
the uncertainty the anxiety
done with those
Ahh but the heartbreak of it being over
the loss of it forever
the uncertainty of what was next
Deep hard memories cascading
from the past
Troubling me with their messages
and reminders
of all those moments shattered
or simply gone on
happy days lost forever
And I breathing sighs of relief
And crying tears of heartbreak
There was never a paradox
to me
It was all the same
either way
and
both ways
With being relieved and heartbroken